The definition of social intelligence goes back to 1920 when it was developed by psychologist Edward Thorndike. He defined social intelligence as the ability to understand and manage people’s feelings, and to act wisely in human relations.

Social intelligence is a person’s ability to relate to others in an empathetic and assertive way. It helps us to communicate effectively, to know how to manage our emotions properly, and to obtain a good outcome as a result of our social interactions. Social intelligence is closely linked to emotional intelligence: both help you properly manage your emotions and provide you with qualities to improve your interpersonal relationships. When you are interacting with others is when emotional intelligence joins forces with social intelligence.


Facets of social intelligence 

Social intelligence is based on listening, observation, unconscious perception of the relationship, or relationships in which we are involved. And more than anything else, it means having the necessary skills to communicate effectively based on empathy, self-knowledge, listening, and reading emotions in other people. Here are some facets of social intelligence:

Social understanding 

Necessary social understanding helps us understand the needs of others and, in addition, recognize and distinguish our own emotions and needs. When we have a high level of social understanding, we are able to experience, manage, and express emotions. 

Social memory 

In order to carry out a successful social interaction, it’s necessary to have a healthy memory, which allows us to remember how we should interact with each other. It also reminds us who we have interacted with previously and what happened during those interactions. 

Social perception 

The psychologist Joshua Aronson defines social perception as the ability to make accurate interpretations and inferences about other people from their general physical appearance and their verbal and nonverbal communication patterns. Aspects such as facial expressions, tone of voice, hand gestures, and body position or movement are factors that people with higher levels of social perception pick up on to find out what other people are thinking, feeling, or what they are likely to do. 

Social knowledge 

Our social knowledge is basically the content that we store in our memory. It’s like a database of knowledge we draw upon every time we interact socially. This type of ‘content’ depends on our cultural environments: the way we behave is subject to our bicultural values and norms. Actions are not based on a concrete answer, but on the number of ideas we have in certain situations.


Relationship between social intelligence and social and mental wellbeing 

Studies indicate that the higher the social intelligence we possess, the better mental health we develop. When we have a high level of social intelligence, we know how to relate assertively in social relationships, we create connections that help us feel better, and we develop relationships that bring us social support.

The ability to recognize our feelings and the feelings of others can help us manage our social interactions successfully. It also enhances positive emotions and improves the overall cognitive evaluation of one’s own life satisfaction. Maintaining emotional balance and positive relationships with others are key components of mental health. For this reason, designing positive interventions to cultivate these personal and social resources will result in less psychopathological symptomatology, greater wellbeing, and better overall mental health.

How can we improve our level of social intelligence? 

Social intelligence comes easier to some and harder to others, but gender does not influence our social intelligence. While many people have social intelligence automatically, others have to try harder to develop them; however, there are certain strategies that can help everyone build social skills:

Social awareness and interpersonal relationships:

Learning to be aware of and understand how others feel is effective and constructive. This will help you to develop a better understanding of your surroundings.

Listen to others and build awareness 

When you listen to others, put aside your values and prejudices, and try to perceive what the other person is thinking, feeling, needing, and perceiving, right at that moment. Notice in yourself what it feels like to be fully attuned to all of a person’s communication signals, which often come in the form of nonverbal cues and body language.

Emotional management and regulation

Effectively and constructively manage your emotions and learn to cope with difficult situations.

Work on increasing your emotional intelligence (EI): Improving your EI is more about how you control your own emotions and how you empathize with others. If you know how to control and react to your emotions, you will then recognize those emotions in others and be able to help them in a healthier way.